We are aware of Helen’s brilliant and distinguished academic career. We know that she was born in Newcastle on 6 January, 1929, that she became Head of the School at Rose Bay, as it was then known and where she was awarded the coveted Prize for Excellence  At Sydney University, she gained her Diploma in Social Studies and Certificate in Medical Social Work, continuing this at McGill University where she obtained her MSW.  She was awarded her BA and MA in Sociology from Boston College, in 1965 and 1969.  She obtained her PhD in Sociology from Carleton University in 1973 and her Nova Scotia Teacher’s Certificate the same year.  We know from the media release issued by St Mary’s University, Halifax at the time of her death, that she was a widely respected researcher, writer and lecturer in the realm of social justice, particularly in the area of South Asian immigrant women.

But today I want to concentrate on my personal recollections of Helen throughout our long friendship, aided by recollections from Sister Marnie Kennedy and Sister Genevieve Bannon. I first met Helen in 1940, when we were both young boarders at Rose Bay. We were not particularly friendly at school, because apart from the fact we were then in different classes, someone who always scored 100% in Maths seemed light years away from a kid from the bush who passed only one Maths test the whole of her secondary schooling. As a result of this mathematical ability, Helen earned the name “Euclid” from one of her classmates (Nora Brack, I think), and this was affectionately shortened to “Euci.”   It was not long before she faced some serious academic challenges in the persons of Marnie Kennedy and Joan Hannan. A friendly rivalry developed between them and they called themselves “The Three Musketeers.”

It was really only after we left school that Helen and I became friends when Yvonne Swift prevailed upon us both to come and help her in her first term as Principal (then called Mistress General) at Rose Bay.  As a result we did many things together and spent holidays at each other’s homes and I came to appreciate the simple, fun-loving girl behind the academic façade which had so terrified me at school.  When she first came to stay with my family at Warren, my two eldest nephews then about five and three, struggled to pronounce the name Helen and christened her “Hella,” a name by which she was always known in our family from that time  - in fact, her very last letter to me was signed “Hella.”

During this time, we discovered that our names were almost identical. She was Margaret Helen Josephine and I was Margaret Josephine and my sister, who never arrived, was to have been called Helen. Helen was a sociable being, interested in people, and she loved a party – and like all young girls, she enjoyed dressing up   My father was very fond of her and would say “Now there’s a girl with a bit of intelligence,” which of course, as we know, was a triumph of understatement, but from him, it was high praise.  She had a keen sense of humour and an apt turn of phrase which she used with effect to sum up certain situations. Helen was musical and a good dancer and I remember one night at a dance introducing her to a young man whom I knew was not a very good dancer, which was somewhat unkind of me as I was trying to divert his attention from me for awhile, so my toes could recover. On the way home I said to her “How did you get on with John X" to which she replied as quick as a flash. “I never knew anyone who couldn’t dance as much as he couldn’t!”

Soon our paths diverged; I entered at Rose Bay and subsequently, she entered at Kenwood, USA for the Canadian Province. Not so long ago, she reminded me of how, when I achieved the prestigious position of being the eldest novice, I was allowed to write to her on the occasion of what was known in the Society  as her Prise d’Habit –taking of the habit.. This correspondence continued spasmodically through the years until her visits back to Australia became a regular occurrence, when it was gradually replaced by e-mail. On her last two visits, though longer than usual, we did not have quite the same amount of social interaction as so much of her time was taken up in the selfless caring for the needs of her only sibling, Mary. One thing that always struck me forcibly on Helen’s various trips to Australia, was almost a certain sense of relief on her part to be again with her old friends who had been with her through her growing-up. We didn’t care that she was now Dr Helen Ralston, the eminent sociologist who lectured throughout the world and wrote learned treatises on the subject. To us, she was just Helen and we argued with her and contradicted her the way we always had and I really think she found it quite refreshing to have all that academic reverence stripped away so she could just be her old self with us.

Helen was not always an easy personality and there were sometimes struggles with relationships. But we all have our idiosyncrasies and there is always the “other side of the coin” and fortunately, our friends accept us “warts and all.”    Helen was ever a true and loyal friend, generous to a fault. She never forgot to send greetings for birthdays and Christmas or any other significant dates and she loved a celebration. As she had doubled into our class in her final year, she was thrilled to be able to attend at least two of our Class Reunions, and for the last one, our 60 Years, she sent a heartfelt message.. She was always appreciative of the smallest kindness shown to her , whether it be meeting her at the airport or driving her home after dinner, and from the communications from the English and Canadian Provinces, nowhere was this appreciation more evident  than in the gratitude she expressed to her carers and communities during these last terrible months since the horrific accident that stunned us all  I would like to conclude this tribute to Helen, by quoting, with permission, from a letter Sister Genevieve Bannon wrote to Sister Mary Finlayson, Provincial of Canada, at the time of Helen’s death, and which I think sums up so well, all the various aspects of Helen’s life:

-        “the brilliant schoolgirl who earned the nickname of Euclid

-        the young woman who had to face family opposition to claim her own

identity  and to follow her call to the Society

-        the Helen I came to know, especially over my two years in Canada and during her

subsequent visits to Australia

-        the Helen who selflessly cared for her sister

There was the external Helen who often struggled with relationships but beneath was a loving heart, a generous spirit, a faithful friend, a loyal and loving member of the Society. The Helen who prayed “ to be with Jesus” is now with her Lord and I’m sure will bring many graces to the Canadian Province, the Province of England and Wales and to her own native Australia.”

So, thank you for that, Genny, and  now,  Vale “Hella’ – and as I reminded her in my very last e-mail as she prepared for her final journey, and as we sang so often standing side by side at the graves of others                                         

                 “Au ciel, au ciel,

                                    J’irai la voir un jour.”

                       (One day I will see her again in heaven)