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It is not what you are nor what you have been that God sees with
all merciful eyes,
but what you desire to be.
The Cloud of Unknowing
There
is something wanting in education where a child has not had its share of
leisure, to be rapt in silence and alone…
Janet Stuart rscJ
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sISTER jOAN vICKERS rscj
19.11.1918 - 12.12.2008
The pattern of Sr Joan’s life was typical of our 80s generation: 20 years’ preparation at home
and school, 30 hidden years in traditional religious life, 30 years of public
life in “second apostolates” and a final decade of withdrawal, prayer and
suffering.
20 Years
of Preparation
Joan was the
youngest of a large Catholic family in Blenheim. Three girls became Religious
of the Sacred Heart, one died at 19 before she could become one, Michael became
a Redemptorist Brother and Trixie and Vincent thankfully married, to extend the
great clan of Vickers, Bourkes, O’Connors, Hickmans, etc., so devoted and
supportive of one another as they spread throughout the land.
Coming after
the two boys, Joan quickly saw through the deception of “Mum’s looking for you”
and stayed with them to become at cricket the backstop and ball-chaser, at rugby
the little tackler. She suffered, of course, from the “hand-me-down” syndrome.
She remembered fondly the small farm, the homely entertainment in the winter
evenings, the toi-toi battles in the park between the Catholic Dogs and the
Protestant Puppies, (who later fought side by side in World War II). She soon
drove the family vintage car. One by one the siblings left for boarding-school
and she herself looked forward to ferry-crossings to Wellington and the antics
of ‘Pelorus Jack” (a famous dolphin).
As a lowly
third-former I can picture her still as Head Girl at Erskine, with her auburn
hair and green eyes, Child of Mary, Blue Ribbon, neat, erect, serious. She
excelled at games and at tidiness –when the monthly Order Marks were read out we
groaned at her regular 100% and nearly cheered when a stray hair in her
hairbrush brought her down to 99. She stayed on a year as teachers’ aide and
excited her classes with her wardrobe, especially her animal-patterned
pinafores. She “came out” as a debutante at the Charity Ball and “went into” the
convent some months later. Better that way, she always said, than the other way
round.
Sailing to
Sydney on September 3, 1939, she was deprived of a final fling at the ball on
board by a sudden war-blackout. The noviceship was evacuated to Melbourne and
she was disappointed not to find either Winifred or Cushla nearby. (Rumour had
it that Superiors always kept the three sisters apart, like possible
explosives). In honour of her 21st birthday the novices were allowed
to paddle in Sydney Harbour. All she wanted, she said, was a ticket home. But
she survived. As did her two brothers, who had been quick to enlist. In 1940
she remembered gazing down below the convent at 2am in the morning, after night
adoration, at the troop ship which she knew carried those brothers to war.
30 Years
of Hidden Religious Life
Like all the
young religious of those days she literally served an apprenticeship.
Frequently transferred –Melbourne, Sydney, Auckland, Wellington- she wrestled
with unruly classrooms, spent sleepless nights as dormitory mistress, organized
games, ruled for three years over the Junior School and finally, as Mistress of
Discipline, regulated Senior school movements with no more than the click of her
signal and the stern look on her face. In community she was quiet, decisive,
quick to serve but always ready for fun. At one concert she dressed up, wig and
all, as one of the Beatles –and was reprimanded for removing her frilled cap.
Another time she tried roller-skating, and broke her arm. She knitted to
perfection and did wonderful embroidery until years later when she cut off the
top of her index finger on the motor-mower. Superiors, however, had noted her
business ability and flair for drawing up building plans. In 1950 she began 20
years, (20 years! she noted, with 5 exclamation marks), as local and New Zealand
Bursar, keeping the books, maintaining the grounds, supervising buildings and
earning the respect of all, Superiors, architects and tradesmen. Later, she had
the anguish of seeing many of those works undone. One incident from those
days: Arranging some very foreign currency for a traveller, she convulsed the
bank attendant by asking, “How may tickles for a pound?”
30 Years
of Public Apostolate
With the
“changes” after Vatican II, which she welcomed as an outward release, a
”longed-for dream” came true when she was sent to Loreto Hall in 1969 to
complete her primary training. She spent nine happy years teaching in
Christchurch and Sydney. At first she was disappointed to be called to a Parish
Team in Christchurch in 1979 but she soon found that life varied and rewarding,
the pastors and parishioners great company. In her methodical way she set about
gaining qualifications for her new apostolates: a live-in year at Assumption
Institute in Melbourne, Courses in Counselling and Clinical Pastoral Education,
teaching English to immigrants, training for hospital chaplaincy and for ITIM: (Interchurch
Trade and Industry Mission), where she worked with staff at the AMP and in
Westpac banks in Wellington. She leaves a whole sheaf of diplomas and
certificates, even one from the Electrical Association for Women in NZ, Inc.
for domestic repairs and household wiring! And another sheaf of thanks and
tributes from colleagues, patients and clients. Her quiet gifts of sympathy,
concern and practical help came into their own as she tirelessly visited homes,
hospitals, prisons and workplaces. She was a valued Pastoral Assistant for
nine years in Christ the King Parish, Christchurch and for ten years in Mt
Victoria Parish, Wellington. As Msgr Carde summed up at her Golden Jubilee in
1998, “Take God out of Joan’s life and you have nothing left…How much of Christ
did she find each day? Like the restorer of Da Vinci’s Last Supper, one square
centimetre, one thumbnail every day. This is how we find God, how Joan has
found Him, one thumbnail every day. She may have had a Damascus experience –but
mostly it’s in the ordinary day in and day out. We thank you, Sister Joan,
for your care of us by your steadfastness, your endurance, your care for those
who cannot get out any more, your toughness. Yes, she is some tough
woman!” She needed to be that for her last decade.
10 Years
for the Finishing Touches
Her return
to Christchurch was marked by the deaths of both Sister Cushla and Brother
Michael within eight months of one another and then by the heartbreak of having
to close Cottesmore community, leaving behind many friends and her loved South
Island. After so many decades of activity, she found her first move to Baradene
in 2000 “traumatic”, and the final three years of withdrawal from Wellington
hard and lonely. She kept up her reading, her long walks and that upright
carriage so indicative of her whole character. She struggled to remain
positive. Just before Winifred’s death in 2006 she suffered a severe stroke and
became gradually dependent, unable to speak or write. But her affairs were
always in order, her dress as meticulous as ever, her smile bright and her
gratitude to her carers touching.
Winifred, with her
outgoing sparkle, often teased Joan about being proper and straitlaced… Cushla,
in her forthright manner, would urge her to “come out of herself”… but she would
not be drawn into being anything other than herself, quiet, reserved and
resolute. Beyond a great and affectionate relationship with the Superiors who
trained her and an appreciation of the spiritual opportunities she made full use
of, she has said little about her inner life and apparently left no spiritual
notes. Sometimes we would recall our days as novices, when we made huge acts of
self-sacrifice to the Sacred Heart and abandonment to the Will of God, without
any idea of what it really meant, until the Lord showed her in these last
years. Or we would remind ourselves that Jesus’ final gift to those who are
faithful is often a share in His Cross. Her final serenity proved that she had
understood. Surprisingly, perhaps, she took a great liking to the modern
picture of the “laughing Jesus” (which you will find at the end of your
Mass-leaflet). I am sure it is with this smile that He has already said to
her, “Well done, good and faithful servant! Enter now into the joy of your
Lord.
Sr Margaret D'Ath
December 17
2008
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