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It is not what you are nor what you have been that God sees with
all merciful eyes,
but what you desire to be.
The Cloud of Unknowing
There
is something wanting in education where a child has not had its share of
leisure, to be rapt in silence and alone…
Janet Stuart rscJ
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SISTER JOYCE MARY COATES RSCJ
October 26th, 2008
We are here to
celebrate
and give thanks to God for the life of our dear Sr Joyce Mary Coates,
who died at St Joseph’s Nursing Home, early on Sunday morning 26th
October, aged nearly 96. She had been cared for at St Joseph’s for six years,
with the great love of the Sisters, nurses, carers and staff, to whom we all owe
our heartfelt gratitude.
It might be helpful
if we recalled Joyce Mary’s life under the headings….
·
What
She Loved
·
What
She Did
·
Her
Prayer Life
·
Her
Hobbies
·
How
or Where We Remember Her
What She Loved
Joyce Mary was born
in England, her father was English, her mother Welsh. The family sailed in a
Japanese boat from England to Australia in 1917, at the time of the First World
War. Joyce Mary loved her mother very dearly and often spoke of her, who is
noted for caring for poor orphan children; she was very close to Elin her
sister, Ian her brother and Midge another sister.
Joyce Mary loved
her vocation to the Society of the Sacred Heart and her various communities in
Melbourne, Sacré Coeur, Stuartholme in Brisbane, Rose Bay and Karlaminda Sydney.
I used to say to
her, on a visit to St Joseph’s, “Do you send your love to Karlaminda?”
and she answered, “Oh, yes, a hundred times
over!”
What She Did
In our communities
she is remembered as an Infirmarian, caring for the sick and ailing, a ministry
that she told me she simply loved. She had the gift of insight, gentleness,
compassion and seemed to sense the needs of others.
As an “outside”
ministry, Joyce Mary was much involved in teaching “words in clour” for children
and adults who were dyslexic or had problems in learning to read or spell. She
probably began this work in Brisbane, where she had a little office in town
where she was driven by Sr Gretchen Kelly and others, about two times a week.
Her teaching was long remembered as is evident from a letter sent to Joyce Mary
a couple of years ago but one of her former pupils, she writes:
“My little girl,
Jasmin, suffers from the same reading problems and spelling problems that I used
to. I still make mistakes, but THANKS TO YOU, have managed to do really well. I
still have my exercise book we did in colours, and I use this with Jasmin.”
Another past
student of Joyce Mary’s wrote to her in a Christmas card in 2007 (from
Brisbane):
“Dear Sister, you
may not remember me, but I’ll never forget you. I love you and will love you
always. I keep you in my prayers daily and Masses and Communions. Can you drop
me a line sometime? Yours always Leon Offenhauser.”
In a previous
letter Leon told Joyce Mary that he had prayed daily for her, for
35 years.
Her Prayer Life
We know little
about except that Our Lady was central in it. When I was in the Rose Bay
Community, Joyce Mary became a new member. When I went to welcome her, I said,
“JOYCE if there is anything I can do to help you, will you tell me?” She
answered, “Yes, you can call me JOYCE MARY – I have
added MARY to my name legally. That is my full name.”
Joyce Mary also had
a special love of Thérèse de Lisieux and her “Little Way”. A prayer I shall say
at the end might best express Joyce Mary’s spirituality.
Her Hobbies
Joyce Mary was a
great knitter of baby clothes, rugs, jumpers. She gave me an amazing rug
crotched in red, blue, a little black and white, made entirely of squares, each
one different. Once I was in hospital with Joyce Mary’s rug spread on the bed.
The lady carers and cleaners gathered around admiring such a lovely piece of
work. “Did you make it?” I shook my head, “It was made by one of my
Community”.
Joyce Mary was also
a great reader, especially of the novels by Dick Francis-that she read well into
the night. She also greatly admired radio personality John Laws who broadcast a
“talk-back” show, when people in trouble phoned in. He had always some way of
giving or finding some practical help for needy people.
How We Remember Her
One occasion in the
Community at Karlaminda, it was Cup Day, and we were invited to bring and wear a
special hat to wear during lunch in the Community Room, as we watched
proceedings on the TV. There would be a prize for the best hat. There were
many “creations” – 1st Prize going to Sr Yvonne Swift for her very
stylish one. Joyce Mary wore a navy crotched cap, decorated with one sprouting
pink rose. She won a prize for originality, she called her cap “An English
Rose”.
How do I remember
her in 2008? Lying on her “chaise lounge” in the Community Room at St Joseph’s,
never complaining of heat or cold, pain or weariness, or anything else. We
prayed together for a few minutes, prior to lunch on a tray. She said, “Feed
me.” She ate less and less in the past few weeks, …just down to ½ teaspoon
of custard the last time I saw her.
“Will you come
again next Monday?”,
she asked me. “Yes, I’ll come”. But God called her home early Sunday
morning.
Finally, “The
Prayer of ‘A Little One’”
The Prayer of ‘A
Little One’
Lord, I am your
‘little one. That means that in the years to come, in my life and in my death, I
leave everything in your hands. My weakness and frailty are such, that I cannot
live on my own. I need your strength, your guidance, your friendship, your
support. In other words, your Holy Spirit
As each day comes,
reveal your Heart to me in Scripture, and be my companion and delight in the
Eucharist. Enlighten me in danger lest I go astray. Teach me how and when to
love my neighbour.
Lord, in all things
and at all times, I need you. Let us live together. I am just your ‘little
one.’.
Joan Wister rscJ
October 2008
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