SISTER JOYCE MARY COATES RSCJ
October 26th, 2008
Joan Wister rscj
We are here to celebrate and give thanks to God for the life of our dear Sr Joyce Mary Coates, who died at St Joseph’s Nursing Home, early on Sunday morning 26th October, aged nearly 96. She had been cared for at St Joseph’s for six years, with the great love of the Sisters, nurses, carers and staff, to whom we all owe our heartfelt gratitude.
It might be helpful if we recalled Joyce Mary’s life under the headings….
· What She Loved
· What She Did
· Her Prayer Life
· Her Hobbies
· How or Where We Remember Her
What She Loved
Joyce Mary was born in England, her father was English, her mother Welsh. The family sailed in a Japanese boat from England to Australia in 1917, at the time of the First World War. Joyce Mary loved her mother very dearly and often spoke of her, who is noted for caring for poor orphan children; she was very close to Elin her sister, Ian her brother and Midge another sister.
Joyce Mary loved her vocation to the Society of the Sacred Heart and her various communities in Melbourne, Sacré Coeur, Stuartholme in Brisbane, Rose Bay and Karlaminda Sydney.
I used to say to her, on a visit to St Joseph’s, “Do you send your love to Karlaminda?” and she answered, “Oh, yes, a hundred times over!”
What She Did
In our communities she is remembered as an Infirmarian, caring for the sick and ailing, a ministry that she told me she simply loved. She had the gift of insight, gentleness, compassion and seemed to sense the needs of others.
As an “outside” ministry, Joyce Mary was much involved in teaching “words in clour” for children and adults who were dyslexic or had problems in learning to read or spell. She probably began this work in Brisbane, where she had a little office in town where she was driven by Sr Gretchen Kelly and others, about two times a week. Her teaching was long remembered as is evident from a letter sent to Joyce Mary a couple of years ago but one of her former pupils, she writes:
“My little girl, Jasmin, suffers from the same reading problems and spelling problems that I used to. I still make mistakes, but THANKS TO YOU, have managed to do really well. I still have my exercise book we did in colours, and I use this with Jasmin.”
Another past student of Joyce Mary’s wrote to her in a Christmas card in 2007 (from Brisbane):
“Dear Sister, you may not remember me, but I’ll never forget you. I love you and will love you always. I keep you in my prayers daily and Masses and Communions. Can you drop me a line sometime? Yours always Leon Offenhauser.”
In a previous letter Leon told Joyce Mary that he had prayed daily for her, for 35 years.
Her Prayer Life
We know little about except that Our Lady was central in it. When I was in the Rose Bay Community, Joyce Mary became a new member. When I went to welcome her, I said, “JOYCE if there is anything I can do to help you, will you tell me?” She answered, “Yes, you can call me JOYCE MARY – I have added MARY to my name legally. That is my full name.”
Joyce Mary also had a special love of Thérèse de Lisieux and her “Little Way”. A prayer I shall say at the end might best express Joyce Mary’s spirituality.
Her Hobbies
Joyce Mary was a great knitter of baby clothes, rugs, jumpers. She gave me an amazing rug crotched in red, blue, a little black and white, made entirely of squares, each one different. Once I was in hospital with Joyce Mary’s rug spread on the bed. The lady carers and cleaners gathered around admiring such a lovely piece of work. “Did you make it?” I shook my head, “It was made by one of my Community”.
Joyce Mary was also a great reader, especially of the novels by Dick Francis-that she read well into the night. She also greatly admired radio personality John Laws who broadcast a “talk-back” show, when people in trouble phoned in. He had always some way of giving or finding some practical help for needy people.
How We Remember Her
One occasion in the Community at Karlaminda, it was Cup Day, and we were invited to bring and wear a special hat to wear during lunch in the Community Room, as we watched proceedings on the TV. There would be a prize for the best hat. There were many “creations” – 1st Prize going to Sr Yvonne Swift for her very stylish one. Joyce Mary wore a navy crotched cap, decorated with one sprouting pink rose. She won a prize for originality, she called her cap “An English Rose”.
How do I remember her in 2008? Lying on her “chaise lounge” in the Community Room at St Joseph’s, never complaining of heat or cold, pain or weariness, or anything else. We prayed together for a few minutes, prior to lunch on a tray. She said, “Feed me.” She ate less and less in the past few weeks, …just down to ½ teaspoon of custard the last time I saw her.
“Will you come again next Monday?”, she asked me. “Yes, I’ll come”. But God called her home early Sunday morning.
Finally, “The Prayer of ‘A Little One’”
The Prayer of ‘A Little One’
Lord, I am your ‘little one. That means that in the years to come, in my life and in my death, I leave everything in your hands. My weakness and frailty are such, that I cannot live on my own. I need your strength, your guidance, your friendship, your support. In other words, your Holy Spirit
As each day comes, reveal your Heart to me in Scripture, and be my companion and delight in the Eucharist. Enlighten me in danger lest I go astray. Teach me how and when to love my neighbour.
Lord, in all things and at all times, I need you. Let us live together. I am just your ‘little one.’.
October 2008