The Society of the Sacred Heart
Australia-Aotearoa
New Zealand ,
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The Society of the Sacred Heart
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It is not what you are nor what you have been that God sees with
all merciful eyes,
There is something wanting in education where a child has not had its share of leisure, to be rapt in silence and alone… Janet Stuart rscJ
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Mary's sister Carole, reflects: I thought I would just talk to you about the beginning and the end of Mary’s life, and her outstanding capacity with handcraft and gardening. Mary was born on the 7th March 1942 at 10 past 8 in the morning in the Bega Hospital. Her twin brother, David, preceded her by some 20 minutes. David was robust but Mary was not. My father, like many others, had volunteered his services to the Armed Forces when the War in the Pacific became so horrific. At the time of the birth, he was stationed in Goulburn and his Commanding Officer, Top Hassall, gave him 7 days leave to return home. It was only when he reached Bega that he learnt he had 2 babies, not one! Our grandmother had come down from Sydney to assist my mother and ended up staying 3 months. Our grandfather, on learning his daughter had twins, went into a flurry and said “she must have a nurse”. So somehow he managed to find Nurse McGackey and she was part of our household for 3 months. We also had help in the house and, with all this support, my mother managed to rear Mary. There was difficulty with her feeding and it was a very hard time for both my mother and Mary. Mary as a young child was small, with very fair hair and blue eyes. To move on to Mary’s capacity with handcraft, I know no other person with such skill at sewing, knitting, crocheting and making wonderful cards. Her garden at Figtree contains extraordinary vegetables and herbs such as borage, ginger, arrowroot, celery and nasturtiums. I shall now mention the difficult time at the end of Mary’s life. Towards the end of May 2005 a colonoscopy performed at Figtree Private revealed cancer of the colon. Dr Andrew Malouf moved fast and surgery took place at that same hospital with rehabilitation at Thirroul. Later, there was a second operation performed by Dr James Gallagher at the Mater Hospital in Sydney to remove tumours in the liver, with rehabilitation afterwards at St Luke’s under the care of Dr Greenway. The following year there were 2 more operations by the same surgeons in the same hospitals. Mary quickly took advantage of the Illawarra Cancer Support Group co-ordinated by Geraldine Beaven, for whom she had great admiration. Mary did everything to help herself. On Saturday her neighbour commented to me how she swam and how she grew her vegetables which confirmed this. At the end of January this year a CT scan revealed multiple tumours in the liver and Dr Gallagher passed Mary’s care over to Professor Clingan, Oncologist, in Wollongong. There’s no doubt he tried everything to help her live and Geraldine Beaven was always about at these medical appointments. Dr Miller was also involved with radiation therapy in September. Mary and I had the greatest admiration for all the doctors who looked after her including Dr Barclay at Port Kembla Palliative Care Unit. The nursing staff of the hospitals and Community Health in the Illawarra were just superb. With the expertise of these people, combined with the love and prayers of her friends, Mary managed to live for 3 years and 5 months following her diagnosis of cancer. From her brother Michael: I would just like to share with you a little about Mary before she commenced her religious life. She like her sister Carole and I were born and raised at Bega where our family owned and operated a dairy property. Now being almost 12 years younger than Mary I was naturally not around to witness or see first hand a couple of humorous incidents that occurred when Mary was very much an infant. However these were reminisced at different times around the family dinner table. Mary was not one for staying at home helping her mother cook etc. but would rather be out and participate in outdoor activities. Working for us at the time was Bert Keft and his children were a little older than Mary but this did not stop her from joining in. During this era, most dairies had pigs which were raised on separated milk as only cream was sent to the Bega factory. Dad was working in the workshop one day when Mary rushed up to him saying “Hello Daddy…I have just been watching a sow having sowers” Yes you heard correctly, not piglets but sowers!! On another occasion Bert and dad, who both smoked, were missing some things Bert some cigarette papers and dad some tobacco. Dad decided to raise the subject with Mary, who still very young, replied “We moked for four days” Yes still too young to say the word correctly. Dad replied “So where did you smoke, Mary? “to which Mary answered “In the hayshed”. I think all hell would have been let loose if the hayshed went up in flames! On closing I would like to thank you all for coming because, as individuals, you have cared and had an impact on the way we will remember her From Diana: Carole and Michael have told you a little of Mary’s early years and Carole of her wonderful skills and her final journey with cancer to her death last Saturday morning. What Carole did not add was that her own constant support for Mary all her life, and most particularly during these last three and a half years, have made those years so much easier for Mary. There is no doubt Mary will be begging countless blessings for you, Carole, and for all her family. To the picture Michael and Carole have painted I would like to add something of Mary’s 46 years as a Religious of the Sacred Heart in the Australia-New Zealand Province. When Mary asked me to speak to you today it was our agreement that she would tell me what she would like included! However, this was one rare task she didn’t follow through on, though we spent some specific time together to do just that! Her last words to me before her move to Port Kembla Hospital were of trust that I would know what to say! All of us who have known Mary knew her unwavering faith; her love for Jesus carried her through many ups and downs and remained rock solid at the core of her life. I have heard it described as a ‘granite, unwavering faith which expressed itself through her love and appreciation for ecology and justice’. It surprised many when she was leaving school that she told them her future was in religious life. Mary and I were at boarding school together and she was often in trouble. This was managed with compassion and understanding and she was sent regularly to the infirmary to sleep for a day! Little was known at that time of the allergies she had to so many things – that diagnosis and the management of her allergies came much later and made such a difference to her life. She could then do what she needed to do and understand what was happening. Our foundress, Madeleine Sophie Barat, had a saying: ‘Courage and Confidence’ and, as people have spoken to me of Mary, these words have come through strongly. Mary was indefatigable and fearless in her advocacy for others and for issues close to her heart. She had a thirst for justice and a lightning response against injustice of any kind – and she got results! She attended to everything in its detail; never left a stone unturned to bring about a just solution [whether the issue was large or small] and used her amazing energy selflessly for others. I am sure State Rail personnel will never forget her as she worked to urge them to retain the lockers at Central Station canvassing commuters on the issue as she travelled back and forth from Wollongong. One who visited her at Port Kembla Hospital left this message which seems to me a wonderful summary: You, my friend, are going to be missed. Missed for your passion and commitment for social justice and truth; for women and children; the beauty, smells and sounds of Bennalong; your joy in growing herbs and veges from seed – the maintenance of these in an environmentally friendly and sustainable way; your determination to lead by example as you struggled to balance these values with the debilitating breakdown of your physical body. Your courage, endurance and love have touched many. Mary was immensely knowledgeable about anything she was interested in and she pursued her interests with great energy. During one time when she needed some time out to re-energise she spent it working with a tree surgeon! Mary loved nature and it was to nature she turned when she needed to recoup her strength. The God of nature seemed to be the source of her meeting and deep contemplation. She told me that while she was so often busy and loved to be with people, her silent spaces were essential for her. In recent years this has been very clear as she took time in nature to refresh her spirit and restore her energies. She had a great gift for friendship and maintained friends in all the places she has worked – many of them. They tell stories of all the things Mary has done for them as if each one was the only one – and she did, indeed, love each one uniquely and well. These years in Wollongong could be seen as her golden years. Living at Figtree gave her the possibility to order her life as she needed to and the freedom to respond to need wherever she saw it. It also provided the opportunity to discover a place where she could go for her times of silence and solitary prayer in the beauties of nature. Mary seems to have found a new balance here, making new friends, working with many groups and individuals, while always maintaining her links to other friends and to RSCJ communities in Bowral, in Sydney and around the Province. The transparency with which Mary shared her last journey has left a deep impression on us. Mary relied on prayer as she walked that journey and she never failed to thank for the prayer that supported her and the grace she received. She knew what was going on, she asked her questions and continued to do so till she understood and could share the information. She was immensely grateful to all those who supported her through that time by some accompanying her to appointments, her support group, doctors, Carole, her other family members, friends, her parish here, palliative care staff, her RSCJ family – so many people… and yet I run the risk that I have left some out – they know who they are and so does Mary. In conclusion, let me share this poem from Rabindranath Tagore that Mary enjoyed and found helpful in these last few weeks: For all emotions that are tense and strong And utmost knowledge, I have lived for these- Lived deep, and let the lesser things live long – The everlasting hills, the lakes, the trees Can sing this song of life and man’s high sensitivity Which I into the face of death can sing O death thou poor and disappointed thing Strike if thou wilt – and now – For I have lived, and thou canst rot me Only of some long life that ne’er has been. The life that I have lived so full, so keen, is mine I hold it firm beneath thy blow And dying, take it with me where I go. Continue to rest in peace, Mary. Goodbye. Till we meet again |
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Society
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