Sister Mary
Ormesher
27.4.1918 - 3.10.2008
When we gather to celebrate the life of an RSCJ who has died, one
person may speak of her, but with contributions of others who knew her. I want
to acknowledge those who have shared their knowledge and appreciation of Mary O.
as we had come to call her fondly. In particular, I acknowledge Mary Brennan’s
memories and experience, particularly of their years in Esk. I like to think of
that time as Mary O’s golden years.
Mary was born in Nottinghamshire England and we were never able to forget that. In 1918, as a baby in a pram, she was taken out for a stroll by her parents on Armistice Day. They wondered why she was so quiet, and found she was sucking a flag attached to the pram. Mary used to say that her love for the Union Jack began early in life! She loved the Australian flag because it has a Union Jack in the corner. The afternoon before becoming ill last week, she spent a couple of hours, glued to the screen, watching a DVD of England.
Mary’s parents with three little girls, Mary, Margaret and Dorothy, migrated to Melbourne when she was five. Twin girls were born in Australia, Patricia and Elizabeth who died in infancy and then another girl, Joan. Mary, as the eldest, felt a responsibility for the four little sisters and she was sensitive to the family’s sense of isolation in a new country. It was a very pious household and Mary felt very close to her father who was a man of deep spirituality. When her mother made a Retreat at Sacre Coeur in Melbourne, she was prevailed upon to send her daughters to school there. Mary had the happiest memories of her school days and, after working for a couple of years, she entered the noviceship at Rose Bay at the age of nineteen. Eventually there were three Ormesher sisters who were professed Religious of the Sacred Heart, Mary, Dorothy and Patricia. Patricia has accompanied Mary, prayerfully, constantly and with compassion during her last five days. We want you, Pat, to know our love, support and appreciation at this time. We also offer our appreciation to Annette, to Nancy and the staff at Karlaminda for their loving care.
Mary’s religious life was characterized by joyful dedication and multi-dimensional involvement—teaching, administration, religious education, formation and parish ministry. Her years of teaching were spent mainly at Stuartholme and at Rose Bay. One former student remembers her “as a kind, thoughtful and wonderful teacher. My parents too were very impressed with her graciousness and kindness whenever they came to visit. My father would often recall his first meeting with Mary and how much she impressed him with her genuine warmth and interest in her students”. Another recalls that, having been her pupil, “she always held us as her special students and would recall this whenever her past students met her.” In 1996 at her Golden Jubilee of final profession, she spoke a special message to them: These 50 years have been very happy ones wherever I’ve been called to serve. Now in the evening of my life, towards which all of us are travelling, I’d like you my dear “children” of the past to spend your days .... spreading the love of the Heart of Jesus all around.
Mary had offered herself for the missions. In 1962, she was asked to go to India as novice mistress. At that time, India was part of the English Province and Mary’s English background helped her find her place. She was profoundly interested in the development and welfare of those who had been her novices, and loved to receive news of them. That was typical of her. In memoirs written in 1984, we have her own words, to tell us what her life in India meant: I am eternally grateful for having been given the opportunity to live in that great country for over 10 years and to some extent I found my soul there. I love India, love her people and her deep spirituality.
In 1974 Mary was in Esk at its foundation. Religious of the Sacred Heart went there to take up catechetical work and community outreach in the Brisbane Valley. Mary did not know where the state schools were or the routes to get to them, so with her characteristic intrepid spirit she went on the milkrun rounds with the local milkman.
In 1977 to the mid-80s, Mary was at Kerever Park, initially with a community of older RSCJ. She then took initiatives which were the beginning of the Centre that we know to-day. Though it is over 20 years since Mary left Kerever Park, she is still remembered with love by those who knew her then particularly the staff who worked with her.She started a prayer group along the lines of Christian meditation where all faiths were welcomed, meeting weekly in the chapel in the evening. Some of the original prayer group still come to the convent every Tuesday morning and remember Mary as welcoming all, Catholics and non Catholic alike.
She returned to Esk in 1995 and was there until she moved to Karlaminda at the end of 2007. In recent years in Esk the RSCJ community had two ministry goals - to give support to local disadvantaged people, and to become involved in inter-church activities.
Mary’s work for the St Vincent de Paul Conference deserves special mention. She was Treasurer for several years, kept the statistics and records and managed all the hassle of the GST. Having lived in India and seeing the poverty there and being very austere in her own style of living, Mary found it hard sometimes to sympathize with those who sought help here. But when she spoke to people face to face her heart melted and she came to understand the variety of pressures that people live with and survive under. She often said how fortunate she was to live in the Society of the Sacred Heart where she was shielded from so much of the world’s harshness.
Mary’s affectionate nature also displayed itself in her love of animals. She loved her little white cat Trixie, even when Trixie wrapped her claws around Mary’s legs in a loving embrace; but she was very upset when Trixie caught two finches. She wrapped the birds up till morning and then gave them a solemn burial near a memorial tree. She was less concerned about a red-bellied black snake that Trixie found in Mary’s wardrobe.
Mary loved the connection with the other Churches in the Brisbane Valley and was very faithful in attending the monthly meeting of the “Churches Working Together” and the lunches and talks that they sponsored. She was a great ambassador or marketing manager for them. She encouraged participation by other Catholics in local Christian events. There developed a great sense of unity with the other Christian Churches. The Catholic Lenten Programme that Mary led for many years ended up with participants from the Anglicans, Uniting Church, Baptists, Lutherans, Assembly of God, as well as Catholics.
Mary was a great educator. When she returned to Esk in 1995, she continued her catechetical work in the local State School for a few years. She was also an enthusiastic student. When she came to Esk she was part-way through a university course. She had studied various courses throughout her life but had never had the opportunity to complete a degree. She enrolled in the University of New England and just revelled in the opportunity to study Philosophy [including a course in feminism], History and the Study of Religions. She had experienced the influence of Hinduism, Buddhism and Indian culture during her time in India, and she loved approaching these areas of interest in a more formal manner. She successfully completed her degree and graduated Bachelor of Arts when she was eighty-one.
A touching farewell was given to Mary when she was leaving Esk. Many local residents gathered at a morning tea in the parish grounds to say thankyou and goodbye. There were speeches from friends and associates including the Parish Priest. Certificates of Appreciation were presented from the Esk Shire Council and the Society of St Vincent de Paul. Mary loved Esk and it broke her heart to leave. But she knew the time had come for her and for the Society to move from Esk. When given an option of remaining in Brisbane in a care facility, her response was strong and clear: “I want to be in a house of the Society.”
With great courage Mary faced the move from the small country town where she was known and loved to Sydney, from a community of two to one of nearly twenty. The transition was enormous and she knew times of darkness. Despite her sense of dislocation and grief, Mary entered as fully into life as she possibly could. She attended exercise classes most mornings even though she was reluctant to do any of the exercises! She maintained her interests in sports such as tennis and the Olympic Games! One of the first memories of Staff at Karlaminda is of her ‘addiction’ to the game of ‘Scrabble’. It gave Mary great pleasure to sit and play each day with one or two others. While the rules Mary played by were sometimes questionable, one could never question her desire to maximise each letter to the highest score possible. Mary continued to read and particularly enjoyed following up her studies of theology and scripture. She would enter into the talks given by Fr. Tony Arthur on religious life and scripture with enthusiasm and loved to learn as much as she could.
I want to end these memories of Mary by sharing a little of Judyth Wiley’s special friendship with Mary. Judyth has written:
I first met Mary when I was 17 and going to school at Chevalier College. Sr Mary Ormesher was in charge of Kerever Park, Burradoo, and kindly allowed two of us to board there Monday to Friday rather than facing the long bus ride from Nowra to Bowral each day. Living with the retired nuns was like having 12 grandmothers taking care of you in the beautiful surrounds of Kerever Park—it was a very special time that I remember fondly.
After 27 years, Mary and I reconnected in January this year when she moved from Esk, Queensland, to live at Karlaminda in Sydney. I feel privileged that our paths crossed once more and we were able to spend precious time together over the past 9 months.
There are many things I admired about Mary; her positive way of looking at life, she was kind, gentle, highly intelligent, compassionate, spiritual, patient and non‑judgmental. In the times we shared, we were both fully present with each other—there were no distractions—just focused listening and sharing of our stories and thoughts. What a treat to be truly present and witness each other’s life!
On my very first visit, Mary said to me, “Judyth, you know what life is about? It’s about letting go (pause), letting go (pause) and then there is the final letting go at death. And that’s what I’m waiting for.” I wrote in my diary that night hoping that she wouldn’t let go too soon so that we could meet up again.
On a later visit I asked about her life, and she ended the conversation by saying passionately, “I have loved my life.” And we both smiled and rested effortlessly in the space after she said this, knowing there was nothing more to be said.
The final testimony comes from Mary’s own pen, in her 1984 memoirs:
My life has been truly happy and fulfilled in our wonderful Society of the Sacred Heart. There must have been hard and difficult times, but these are lost in a cloud of forgetting. God has given me the grace not to remember them, to bear no bitterness to anyone – if there should have been any reason for it. All I ask is that you remember me sometimes in prayer, whilst I hope to spend my heaven in a hymn of thanksgiving.
Mary, the waiting is over. Be at peace with God for whom you longed and whom you now see.